The past two years I’ve been in an inquiry around what I need to create a healthy, thriving and peaceful inner landscape – specifically emotionally and mentally.
One of the things I’ve discovered about myself is I need a lot of space in between all the many moments of my life. I need unstructured time, breathing room in between events, work, tasks, and people.
At first, I pathologized it. I was convinced there was something wrong or unique about me that needed such space. Then I stopped and said to myself, “What if it’s ok for me to want and need space in between all the different parts of my life?”
Acceptance shortly followed.
Ahh space… and permission to have, need, want and bathe in it.
One of my favorite business women and writer’s, Ash Ambrige of The Middle Finger Project, (if you know me, you can see why I love her just by the name of her company alone), quoted the below blog with the following…
“My friend Emily recently talked about saying no to things, but not because she’s busy. She says no in order to prevent herself from becoming busy.”
It was so refreshing and affirming to read someone reference their own need for space and what they are doing about it.
I’m not a victim to my calendar, to time or to the collective agreements about time, work and space.
As an independent contractor, the messages from a society addicted to doing and rewarding busy, hard work and to do lists, is seductive.
However, I choose to step out of that paradigm and into the spaciousness of the Divine Presence.
To reference Rev. Lola and the Bodhi Spiritual Center, I “get to give” myself space and I’m rewarded with peace, creativity, compassion, acceptance and inpsiration. I “get to give” my clients space and they are rewarded with my creativity and clarity of thought. I “get to give” my friends space and they are rewarded with my full attention because I’m not using our time together to take a mental vacation. I “get to give” my therapeutic work space and it is rewarded with integration that only comes when the work is resting. I “get to give” my spiritual community space and they are rewarded with my power, presence, time, talent and treasure coming from a place of overflow, free from attachment, resentment and approval seeking.
Giving to myself is giving to others. Giving to others is giving to myself. However for me, the scales got tipped too far on the “giving to others” side and I’m in the practice of giving to myself. Of allowing myself to receive. Of seeing my giving transform, heal and become more potent, meaningful and effective.
I am worthy, valuable and open to receive. I allow room in my life, both inwardly and outwardly to receive the gifts of communion with myself and the Indwelling Presence that come from moments of “nothing to do.”
Right here, right now, I invite you to say no to something on your calendar and defend that space. I know a miracle lives inside of it for you…
if we’re full, we’re one step away from busy [link to referenced blog post]
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